Black Watch and the Ape of Doomy doom of doom
by BlackWatchSucks
Summary: Black Watch finds the 7th element. That won't end well.


One day Black Watch was walking and cloping in a jungle for no reason because he loves the smell of burnt carcases in the morning, afternoon, and evening. While doing nothing of importance he just kept going and going because the author said so so it must happen okay you stupid viewer! He came up to a random tree that looked exactly like the ones around it and basically everything else. But this wasn't just a random tree but it was The random tree that supposedly held the 7th element of no importance. Incidentally this element represented bullshit because that's what the 7th element is. Black Watch couldn't resist the temptation of becoming a god mode sue so he quickly snatched it and ran quickly in the jungle but didn't want to stay for fun and games. He ran north...far north.

Later that day he returned to Ponyville because that's where all ocs live or want to live at. Black Watch called a meeting with his bestest of pals a colt can have. His pals were indeed the elements of harmony (If you don't know who they are then I won't tell you). When everything was set up he started the meeting.

"Hey girls." Black Watch simply said.

"Shut up you douche bag." said Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy said but from Fluttershy it sounded more like a "can you please not speak...if that's okay with you."

_Oh Fluttershy, that's okay with all of us_

"I rather be with Logical Fallacies, at least he was supposed to be stupid." added Rainbow Dash

"Oh Black Watch." swooned Twilight

"NOW'S NOT THE TIME!" screamed Black Watch. "For I have something cool to show you girls or should I say 20% cooler." remarked Black Watch with his totally "original" and "hilarious" wit.

"Shut up, that saying got old before it even began." replied Rainbow Dash.

"Oh Black Watch I can't handle all this tension between us, make me yours!" screamed Twilight as she sprang from the bureau (That looked like it was stolen from the UN) trying to land on Black Watch to initiate protocall 69.

Black Watch jumped put of the way causing Twilight to smash into to podium. "Not until chapter 38598274 of The Necromancer oh ya I'm a necromancer for no reason." replied Black Watch in a smug voice. "Now where was I before I was interrupted."

"You were at the part we didn't care about nor listen to." replied Rarity in an equally smug voice while she was using Spike as foot stool because that would be something that Spike would do.

"Oh ya I was going to show you some bullshit. Well here it is." replied Black Watch as he pulled out the 7th element.

"It just looks like a poorly constructed piece of would that is held together with tooth picks and snot and the gem is just a very jagged rock painted neon." said Pinkie Pie for some reason not going on and on about some crazy story that makes no sense. Instead she look depressed with her mane straight and coat much dimmer than usual.

"Why do you look like Pinkamena Pinkie." asked Fluttershy.

"Because I have to see him." replied Pinkie Pie she pointed a hoof at Applejack.

"Why me?" said Applejack with a hurt expression.

"Whoops my mistake." replied Pinkie Pie as she pointed her other hoof at Black Watch.

"No mater for I am the 7th element now and I say that we go and find some random evil that probably doesn't exist and blah blah blah blah blah blah..." Black Watch went on for about 8 days about something that doesn't matter.

BUT SUDDENLY A PURPLE APE CRASHED THROUGH THE BUILDING AND FOR SOME REASON HE WAS WEILDING A KATANA AND A GUN EVENTHOUGH WEAPONS DON'T EXIST IN THIS WORLD!

"WHO DARES TO DISTUREB MY SLUMBER AND STEAL MY ELEMENT OF NO IMPORTANCE!" screamed the ape in a funny Italian voice that sounded like Mario's fake Italian accent.

Everypony and Spike in the room pointed at Black Watch who was still on his epic speech.

The ape suddenly grabbed Black Watch and teleported back to The random tree.

"Put it back." deadpanned the ape

"No." deadpanned Daniel I mean Black Watch.

"Fine if you want it that way then I shall kill you my self for I am the Ape of Doomy doom of doom, the protector of the 7th element." bragged the ape

"Gorduo, Geurdo (Don't know how to spell it) Giant fat thing attack!" Screamed Black Watch as he tried to summon that thing.

But instead he summoned Tiny the rock thing but for some reason it had the head of a shark and 20 thousand laser cannons on it's back and it shot and it explodenaded to whole jungle and killed everything in Equestria and the only things that lived was a fatally wounded Black Watch and The Ape of Doomy doom of doom.

"How did you survive my ultimate attack." coughed Black Watch.

"Oh you fool don't you know that everypony that stole the 7th element died a stupid death and killed everything due to the power of the god mode sue." replied the ape

"Then how did you live?" asked Black Watch with the very little strength he could muster before he died.

"Quite simple for I am not the Ape of Doomy doom of doom." said the ape

"WHAT!" yelled Black Watch forgetting for a moment that he was dying.

The ape stood still and Black Watch could see a zipper around the ape's neck unzip. Before he know it the head was off and all he could see was the head of...

Before I could finish Black Watch remembered that he was dying and died due to all the screaming.

The very instant that Black Watch blacked out (Oh haha) all he could hear was the whisper of a voice.

"You just lost the game."

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

**THE END**

Black Watch is owned by my friend Flyingspud as he is known on . Check his terrible stories out

Various MLP FIM characters are owned by Hasbro

But the Ape of Doomy doom of doom. That's all me **ORIGINAL CHARACTER DO NOT STEAL!**

If you want more stupid. You know who to ask. Just leave a review bad or good.


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